i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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