oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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