butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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