Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize