Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
