Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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