i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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