Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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