Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
