...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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