3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of course I have a pirate flag
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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