theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This is my gift to your gina
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
