she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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