I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
