He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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