You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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