I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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