dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
