Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
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