We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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