I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
