bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
