I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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