Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
