I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
