i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
