mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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