I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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