i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
