Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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