you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
