Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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