i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
