Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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