He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I love you. Go after that dick
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
