This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
