so that wasnt chicken after all
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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