"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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