i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
