Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
