i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
