I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
