We're facebook friends in real life
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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