Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
