Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
