I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
