For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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