Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
