just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
