I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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