the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
