he thought i was a dude.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
