Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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