Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
