We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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