you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Found your dick twin last night
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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