My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
