If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
