I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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