Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize