i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
