like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
